mitten:

sex is so weird like hey let me stick my rock hard limb into ur tiny hole and then slam into you repeatedly because i love you

(via disappearinto-theair)

drarna:

i may not be your cup of tea but i’m your 10th shot of tequila

(via mariblaze)

• when people are talking to me: please leave me alone i just want to be by myself and eat froot loops
• when people aren't talking to me: i guess ill just watch another episode nobody loves me and im gonna die alone

themondaynightwars:

basedgosh:

people who purposely give their boyfriends boners at inconvenient/inappropriate times are evil and powerful and should be feared

I would probably just start masturbating and ask our waiter to give me a few more minutes.

And a napkin or two.

(via kissme-beforeyouleave)

meth83:

do flies know everyone wants them to die 

(via lazy--vibes)

riannafinch:

Do you ever think of the very real possibility that not all your friends will die of old age

(via mariblaze)