sex is so weird like hey let me stick my rock hard limb into ur tiny hole and then slam into you repeatedly because i love you
- when people are talking to me: please leave me alone i just want to be by myself and eat froot loops
- when people aren't talking to me: i guess ill just watch another episode nobody loves me and im gonna die alone
people who purposely give their boyfriends boners at inconvenient/inappropriate times are evil and powerful and should be feared
I would probably just start masturbating and ask our waiter to give me a few more minutes.
And a napkin or two.
Do you ever think of the very real possibility that not all your friends will die of old age